It was a hot summer day. After changing 2 buses, I had finally reached. I so much wished I was home. But, After 2 months of applying online for teaching jobs and not hearing back, I decided to take matters in my own hands and here I was, applying for a job in-person in a college situated outside the city.
Except few teachers and a receptionist, campus was almost empty, maybe it was just after the final exams. I expected them to take my resume and send me back with “we will call you” assurance, but contrarily and to my amazement, they called me in principal’s office right away.
The Principal was in his mid 50s. He asked me to sit and then started reading my resume right in front of me. I wish I had time to prepare, I thought. Do they need a teacher right away? That’s why he called me in his office? Or maybe he has decided to chit chat with me out of boredom. “Impressive grades!” I heard him saying. In that moment, I thought he will offer me job on the spot.
“However, we hired a Microbiology teacher last month, so I cannot help you here. Instead, I can help you with your resume given that you are a new graduate.” He pointed towards a section in my resume “You have mentioned here that you did a project during your graduation, but there are no details. An interested employer will like to know more about it. You should explain it.”
I was petrified. Embarrassed too. Maybe both, it was a long time ago. I did not sign up for a crash course in resumes, I thought. But, I tried my best to hide my disappointment and thanked him anyway. Finally, he shared more tips and then asked about my family. I told him that in my family I have my mother, and 2 younger siblings who are still studying. He was curious why did I want to work so far away from home, to which I answered that I wanted to start working right away, no matter where, to help my family financially. Now I know how desperate I might have sounded.
“Do you mind if I give you an advice?” He said after understanding my situation. “Not at all, Sir” I said. I thought he meant a professional advice. “I understand you want to do something for your mother and your siblings. Do it, but don’t forget yourself in the process. Ask yourself; what do YOU want in life, not what you need to do out of responsibility. You are responsible for yourself too” I looked hard at my face to read as he said it.
I responded to cut him off “Thank you for your advice, Sir. But my mother has high hopes from me and she has invested a lot in me. I will do everything in my capacity to share her load, but I will keep your words in my mind.” He smiled and did not say anything. He kept my resume, with a promise to let me know if there is a job possibility.
Life got busy, so I did not get time to reflect on his advice right away. How often does anybody in real life gives such an advice! Forget the social media and books, but to your face. And when I got it, I thought it was a selfish advice. I eventually got a job in a different college which I loved. I was too hard on myself then, too stubborn to prove myself. When you grow up in a world where you feel helpless all the time, it’s not easy to wake up one day and start living for yourself, but you give everything you have to shield your loved ones from that same feeling. I was taught that it is okay to give up on things you want for your family. And I did not see even a single person advising me otherwise.
His words re-emerged when my situation got better, and they stirred something inside me, as a small drop of ink falls into a glass of clear water and changes its colour gradually. I know now what he meant by what he said; that it is okay to think about yourself before you think about others. You can only take care of others when you take care of yourself. I know it will not happen overnight, but I am working on it, bit by bit. Even though he could not give me the job, he gave me most precious gift when I needed it the most; the art of self love.
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