When I was pregnant, my friends and family gave me a lot of advice on motherhood. Some told me the cons of having a baby (those people exist) while others counted the pros. Some said that I won’t be able to sleep for the next 2-3 years, and some said motherhood is magical, and it’s worth it. Something that never left my mind was “You will love him so much, that if need be, you will die for him.” I think that’s the best way to define motherhood. It’s selfless. And it’s nowhere near how I expected it to be.
Besides basic baby lessons like how to nurse, how to burp, how to change diapers, how to soothe my baby, and how to do all household chores while holding him in one arm, there are some life-changing lessons too. I have summarized the best 9 here:
Postpartum period will pass
The First few weeks after my baby’s birth were tough. Everything struck at once and I didn’t know how to deal with it. Nothing could prepare us for our lives as parents. But no matter how long the nights were, and how restless our eyes were, it passed. A new mother needs to take care of both herself and her little one, but patience is a virtue in those days. Back pain, stitches pain and any other physical pain subsides over time. The most important lesson- that time passes and all we are left with is memories.
Shamelessly ask for help
It takes a village to raise a child, but unfortunately, there is no village in modern society. Consequently, instead of waiting for others to give support, reach out for support. I had my mother and husband to support me and I did not shy from asking for help whenever I needed it. That includes daytime naps too! In their absence, I call my brother whenever I need a break.
You are the most important person in your child’s life (and vice-versa)
You are the only one whom your baby wants in the first few months of their life. Learn to enjoy being their centre of attention. Enjoy how their sweet face lights up when you enter the room, they drop everything so that you can hold them. It’s pure love.
Cherish the happy moments, as time goes by fast
It feels like yesterday when my son was born, and now he seems so big. Each milestone means he is growing up, which is such a bittersweet moment for me. Bitter because I know this phase will never come back and sweet because I am happy that he is growing. Such complex creatures we mothers are!
Their clothes are either too big for them, or they stopped fitting when they were waiting in the closet to fit
I don’t understand it. I have been juggling to understand infant clothing sizes since my son was a newborn. Industry’s standard sizing does not work for every baby, certainly not for my baby. So, I have now learned to do fitting tests before I remove tags and throw his new clothes in the laundry. When saving clothes for future use, I make sure to take them out now and then to check if they fit yet.
You always feel like you are failing at it
Mom’s guilt is real, and motherhood is tough! You let them cry for 1 minute, your heart will break into a million pieces. It’s never a win-win situation. You can either put your baby to sleep on time or you can cook on time. Some days are finishing your full to-do list kinda days. On other days you are sitting on a pile of laundry while your sink is full of dirty dishes, and you have not gotten to brush your teeth yet kinda days. You are bound to fail in one thing or the other. But, the most important thing to know is that it’s okay! these days are not permanent. You will have control over your life again, now is the time to focus on your baby.
What worked for others may not work for you
Some baby hacks do not work for every baby. As a parent, you have to read their clues to make decisions for your child. I think it’s best to take advice but follow only what suits your baby. For example, sleep training methods did not sit well with us so we have decided not to sleep train our baby.
The more you experiment with them, the more you know them
That’s how you know their likes and dislikes in eating, their fears, their triggers and their sensitivities. It’s just about getting to know them. In our case, I have realized after a few months, that my son sleeps better in a somewhat cold environment, he does not like to be covered when sleeping, and he is afraid of vacuums but totally okay with the sound of the ambulance.
Not everyone will praise your baby
This can be a controversial thing to say, but not everyone finds your baby cute. In fact, people find excuses to criticize your baby. Sometimes he/she is “too lean”, “chubby”, “dark” or “fair”. But that’s okay! A child is the world’s most beautiful creature for the parents, and they don’t need anyone’s approval to feel that way. Every baby is beautiful!!
What did you learn from your motherhood journey? Let me know in comments or message us.
Well said!!!