I read this somewhere and it hit home- “First child eats dirt, the parent calls the doctor. Second child eats dirt, parent cleans the mouth. Third child eats dirt, parent thinks if they really need to feed child lunch.” Being a first child, I have always felt kind of ‘important’.
Pros and Cons of being the first child
Through childhood to teen years, I have been surrounded by studies and school activities. Then came the college years and furthermore, career decisions. My siblings followed me through all these phases. They always learned from my mistakes. They had someone all these years who could direct them based on her experiences.
As the oldest child, I was expected to set a high bar for my younger siblings to follow. The feeling of being ahead in everything lingered on. As a result, I was bound to be an all-rounder. To participate in everything, to be an “all-rounder” was a necessity. I wanted to be important, to have a say. I wanted people around me to feel that what I think matters.
Another side of the coin.
It was not until I grew up and started working, I gave a thought to being “not important”, all thanks to a co-worker. Also, She tried to miss work gatherings. Neither did she waste time praising the manager to impress her. She would quietly come to the office parties and would sneak away quietly. It was as if she did not exist.
Out of my curiosity, I asked her why is she quiet all the time and doesn’t like to participate in office, as if she were not important. She simply responded, “I think not important is good”.
This made me think. How peaceful will it be if nobody bothered me? Nobody would notice if I am good, or bad, or average. I could be an overachiever or a no achiever for all I care.
Give it a thought.
No-doubt, self-importance is an important characteristic to succeed in life. It is just that some individuals like to remain under wraps. They favour the sidelines over the spotlight. They are not thinkers, but doers. Each household, each friend circle, each group has a person who likes to remain behind the shadow, and they enjoy it. It is amazing to see how easily some people find their own little space and comfortably live in it without any more desires.
On the contrary, some spend their whole life trying to prove themselves, expanding their reach from one horizon to another. It only teaches me one important life mantra though; that no matter how someone decides to spend their life, their approach does not matter. They can be an extrovert or an introvert, but as long as they are important in their own eyes, it does not matter what the world thinks.
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