Indian matchmaking process has recently come to limelight through Netflix’s series, Indian matchmaking. I recently watched it. The show kept me hooked until the end. All I thought after watching it was, “This has shown so many taboos in Indian society in just one go.” I recalled how my manager from a different origin, was asking me all sorts of curious questions about how Indian weddings happen. I immediately recommended this series to her.
In my opinion, to completely deny the existence of this whole mentality towards matchmaking and occurrences in the series would not be fair. Haters also have to keep in mind that the show-makers were only trying to show the true colors of the society we live in. For example, women like Aparna are labeled as ‘egoistic’ and ‘too demanding’ for being so clear about what they want. While, on the other hand, men like Pradhyuman who reject around 150 girls are called ‘choosy’. Well, trollers, that is exactly what happens in society.
Whether it is Nadia, An Indian-Guyanese event planner who is afraid that she will die single after being stood-up by a guy she thought is her probable match, or shy Akshay who is pressurized to an extreme amount by his mother to get married or cute Vyasar who is afraid that his relationship with his father might affect his wife hunt, all these personalities live in Indian culture. Also, their experiences in the process of finding a life-partner are every such Indian’s experience.
People often change their minds as it happened to Nadia, they often hide big truths about their relationships as it happened to Ankita. Sima’s blunt suggestion to Rupam that she does not have many choices, I don’t understand why some people found it offensive!! I have literally seen people carrying the same attitude. In their defense, divorces are not so common in Indian culture, and often divorced women are told that they must settle for whatever comes their way.
In my opinion, it explains only half of the whole process. Topics like caste preferences, dowry demands, extra pressure on girls’ side would have completed the story. Sima Taparia is accused that she only advised the girls to be more “adjustable” and leave the ego out of the relationship and fully confident that men are fine as they are. Well…. who does this remind me of? To your surprise, not just 1 but many more people in my family and neighborhood who are not even 1% guilty of how they think.
I would not say that all Indians find their partners through a matchmaker, or everyone has a bitter experience in an arranged marriage. But the whole process is ruthless and can prove to be very pressurizing sometimes. Society sees the whole process very practically, which does not spare any room for finding out the couple’s compatibility. Young women and men have very limited options to test their wavelength with the partner their parents and matchmakers sieve for them.
People need to cut Sima some slack because she is only doing her job. She knows how it works inside out and she might seem too hypocrite by treating women and men unequally, but so is half the population of India who says that both genders are equal.